No matter where we live in the world, rich or poor, advantaged or disadvantaged , there's something that scares us and prevents us from reaching our full potential.
Fear shows up in our lives, at various stages, in all kinds of ways.
Perhaps, you're a student scared to make the jump from high school to college. Or maybe, you're a college student afraid to go out into the "real world" not knowing what you really want to do with your life. Maybe you're a highly paid executive in the corporate world afraid that your job will soon be taken away by someone much younger and inexperienced. Or perhaps you're an entrepreneur who's built a successful business yet you're afraid it'll all disappear one day.
Life can definitely be scary. It could be that you're scared to admit it. If you're the strong, tough type, perhaps you're plowing through life, but you feel something is off. It may be that deep down...you're scared.
I believe that in order to create and live your own dream life, you must first come to terms with these fears or it'll keep you 'stuck' every step of the way.
I've personally learned that when you face your fears, they really do go away.
Allow me to share one of the first distinct moments in my life when fear took control of my thoughts and what I did to move passed my fear.
In fifth grade, I ran for student body president of my elementary school. I wrote a great speech, practiced it over and over again and committed it to memory. Then, when the moment of truth came, I put the speech aside and walked up to the stage empty-handed.
I was confident I wouldn't need it.
As I looked out over the podium, I froze. Holy Moly! The sight of a few hundred students staring right at me scared me to death. I froze. I could feel my heart pounding. And my throat drying up. I couldn't remember my first line which was "Hi. My Name is Robert Santos." I was so nervous that I was grabbing the mic in a way that made that loud, screeching noise. The kind that caused everyone, including the grownups to grab and cover...their ears. Our advisor came to the podium three times to tell me to lift the mic closer to my mouth. But, fear was so much in control that I'd lower the mic again and again causing that unbearable sound.
After several attempts to try to remember my speech, I decided it was time to just end the panic I was feeling. I walked off the stage but I didn't run away. Although, I'm sure one of my voices was telling me to do that. I listened to my voice of reason and I chose to sit back on the table with my running mates. For a brief moment. Then I asked to be excused and went to the bathroom.
Fear followed me all the way down the hall into the bathroom. I kept replaying what happened on stage. I remember starting to tear up, then it turned into one of those uncontrollable sobbing cries. But then, something switched in my mind that changed everything for me. I remember looking into the mirror and saying out loud to myself, "You will one day be able to stand in front of thousands of people and speak without being scared."
From that day on, I committed to practicing speaking in front of people any chance I would get. I still got nervous but each time, I would tell myself - "face my fear and it'll go away."
And it did!
As the years went by, I spoke in front of classmates for class projects. I ran for middle and high school student government so I gave more speeches. Each time, the crowd got bigger. And each time, I got more comfortable speaking. And then on graduation day, I gave the biggest speech in my life at that time - my farewell speech as Class President to my graduating class of more than 300 students and their families and friends. And on Guam, that meant 5-20 relatives and friends per student. That meant, it was easily a crowd of more than 1,000 people. This time I kept my speech in hand for safety.
Fast forward, several years later, I've been invited to speak at hundreds of events either as a guest speaker or emcee. And for the most part, my heart no longer races. My throat no longer dries up. I enjoy public speaking now. I'm no longer afraid. I'm absolutely convinced it's because I faced my fear that my stage fright disappeared.
I invite you to think about how fear is stopping you in some way.
I invite you to incorporate the same simple steps that I did in the firth grade to overcome your fear.
1) Acknowledge Your Fear. As a fifth grader, I was scared but I chose to face it. It happened. And there was nothing I could about it based on what I knew at that time. I chose to welcome the emotions I was feeling at the time. Then I did the next best thing.
2) Let it go! Cry it out! Release the emotion. I didn't know it at the time, but that sob I let out in the bathroom was cathartic. It allowed me to let go of all that negative emotion and make room for all the positive energy waiting to fill my heart and mind.
3) Learn from the experience. I learned I did my best based on what I knew at the time.
I learned I was overly confident. But I also learned to also be prepared and come with a back up speech in hand. I learned that the fear and emotions got worse when I worried about what others might have been saying about me. I realized it was all in my head. My friends were still my friends. And I was still the same person despite what happened. Just wiser.
Life can be difficult. Obstacles constantly stand in our way. But, you can achieve whatever it is you want just by heeding the life lessons of others.
That's why I've chosen to share what I've learned and what I continue to learn as I create a life filled with more peace, joy, flexibility, time and money.
Come along by subscribing to my on-going blog, Live My Dream Life Now.
Join me and let's see what happens when we dare to let go of our fears and pursue the life we deserve.